


Relationship Substitution Jutsu

by AcademySenseiIruka



Series: Classified Files: Ninja Holiday Report [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 14:27:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13683543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AcademySenseiIruka/pseuds/AcademySenseiIruka
Summary: Iruka is trying to avoid the attention of some ninja... Kakashi to the rescue?





	Relationship Substitution Jutsu

**Author's Note:**

> Ninja Holliday Report: Valentines day

Relationship Substitution no Jutsu

As small greens thread their way from the buds nestled on the otherwise naked branches of the trees that surround the village hidden in the leaf, Konagarug prepares for the turning of the season. And by extension, the chaos that inevitably ensues. Because Kenoichi in heat are as frightening as they are powerful and beautiful, and spring is in the air.

You could almost see the stone faces of the great monument hold a collective breath as the annual madness slowly descends upon the village. Though any ninja will participate, It's Jounin Kenouich that bring a special brand of crazy to the "courtship" tradition. And in the case of Iruka Umino that meant he was out skilled and out of luck.

It all started innocently enough. Shizunes advances towards him were subtle. At first bumping into him in odd places, asking him for coffee or ramin. But once she caught the sent of Anko following the teacher, she began to hunt him down with a deranged singelmindness he would expect from a starving ninken tracking a delicious stake.

Unfortunately this only seemed to spurn Anko on further and the game escalated into using traps, both on each other and on him.

Fortunately the sensei was close to tobitsero level in experience with such things and so far he'd been able to avoid being ensnared. Though spending his days and nights dodging traps left him tense, drained and paranoid. He took there interest in him with the same wariness he would an A class mission. And after four weeks, he was on the verge of collapse both mentally and physically.

It didn't take him long to realize people were his greatest defense. He spent his free time sticking close to Naruto or volunteering to teach extra tutoring sessions at the academy; where any number of snot nosed kids could be shamelessly used as human shields. He wasn't proud of that fact but that is what he'd been reduced to.

Happily, Iruka was not alone in his suffering and Izumo and Kotetsu were just as desperate. So the trio had formed a pact vowing to never leave a comrade behind... or alone with a jounin kenuichi in heat.

But human shields and friends aside, Iruka found his greatest defense was the mission room. With the combination of multiple jounin witnesses and close proximity to the hokage, as well as the ever present mountain of readily available scrolls at his side; the mission room gave him a well fortified sanctuary. The perfect environment for avoiding unstable shinobe. Even if Shizune was just down the hall.

And to this purpose Iruka found himself holdup in double shifts in the mission office all week. His strategy had been working quite well up until that night, where he suddenly found himself in the undesirable position of working diligently in an empty mission room. Well, empty, except for himself and Kakashi who he was forcing to complete an extremely late mission report. Sadly the report was passable two drafts ago but Iruka was not about to let his only body guard slouch away. Besides he kept drawing lude stick figures in the margins.

Iruka looked over to make sure said jounin wasn't reading Icha Icha again. He had already confiscated two books and for some reason felt sure the jounin was in possession of at least one more. Though Iruka had never read Icha Icha himself, he knew enough of the plot to know Kakashis perverted doodles were acting out various scenes from the novel.

But his suspicious scowling changed to dread as Anko smugly entered.

"Ah Anko, the mission room is closed." He was so use to being hunted these days that the mear sight of the color purple was capable of triggering a flight or flight response.

"Don't worry." she purred confidently. "I haven't completed my mission yet." the double intandra was so obvious in her tone alone Naruto would have picked up on it.

Slowly getting up from his chair he prepared to defend himself. where she moved he made a counter move away. and so they danced, drifting around the room in a distant tango. tho for Iruka it was unwanted, unappreciated and unwelcome. besides, he hated dancing.

she followed him round the table, eyes completely dilated black.

Iruka desperately maneuvered himself a way from the unbalanced kenoichi but she kept slinking towards him, blocking every exit and any chance of escape.

"Listen Anko, please." he begged. hoping to maneuver the lazy jounin between them.

"Whats wrong? Don't tell me you've already been claimbed? no matter, whoever she is I'll tare her apart." she flashed a wicked predatory grin. her prize was in reach.

The cornered sensei shivered in fear as he backed away, sencing his doom, he seased the only idea he could think of. Boldly, he wrapped an arm around the stocked still elite at his side.

"A-actually after careful consideration we have finally decided to tell the village about mine and Kakashis relationship." He brushed his fingers affectionately through soft silver spikes at the bace of the jounins neck and begged silently for copereation.

In answer, an arm snaked around him. Pulling his body to rest comfortably against the chest of the sitting elite. Looking down Iruka froze at seeing Kakashis happy almost innocent smile beaming brightly at his side and from behind a mask. The pleased looking jounin let his fingers trace soothing circles at this hip and Iruka felt his breath hitch as he was pulled slightly closer. The lone dark eye opened to meet his and a hungry glint flashed sending a unconscious tremble through the teacher.

"I think we made the right decision." He said sickly sweet.

Iruka kept very still, lost in the feeling that despite his best efforts he had been caught regardless yet finding the result not at all unwelcome.

He swallowed before beginning nervously. "I-"

"I can't believe this!" Anko stormed. "How long has this been going on?"

Kakashi turned, regarding her threateningly enough to warrant taking a healthy step back in responce.

"Its a recent development." He teased coily, his hand still playing at the dazed teachers side. "Now if you wouldn't mind spreading the news to the others kenoichi we'd really apriceat it. I think now would be a great time."

With a twitch of frustration the irate purple haired ninja transported, most likely to a bar.

"There now." the elite silky voice reassured. It's velvety curess sending Irukas abused sympathetic response into automatic overdrive.

"What are you doing?" He shouted yanking away only to find a steel like hold keeping him in place. "let me go." he snapped feeling himself regress to the state of a cornered pray as he knocked his "rescuer" along the side of the head.

Skidding away the chunin scrambled across the room, making sure a suitable distance was between them till he turned to face the jounin.

"Sweetums where are you going?" The jounin chirped happily, undaunted by the hasty escape. "Come back my little honey-nin."

"Shut up" the chunin glared vehimently, though the beginnings of a smile began to cross his face. Reliefe seeping into his system with every passing breath. Kakashi was just joking.

Like a child, the adult jounin continued unphased "But Gumm drop-kun what about our love? Please don't run away my spiced rum dumpling."

Iruka blanched at the horrible pet name and it elicited an involuntary bark of laughter from the emotionally drained teacher. The cheeky laughter a testimate to how rundown and abused the poor sensei was.

"What is it my Sensei Blossum? Was it something I said?" Kakashi teased getting up to give chase. but unlike with Ankos senial persuite Kakashi regained an air of innocent puppy-esk playfulness.

Iruka watched doumbly as the jounin began slinking forward, careful to apear unthreatining. It was almost endearing the way he accounted for Irukas obviously frayed nerves. Everything from his hands tucked harmlessly into his pockets to the slight tilt of his head seamed to radieate disarmament. "Just calm down sensei shes gone." he assured gently, compassionately.

Taking a breath Iruka steadied himself. Kakashi was right he needed to calm down but his slowly sebteling thaughts were still to scattered to rest just yet.

He sighed and the warriness of the last few weeks suddenly caught up to him. he felt like he had just returned from a month long A class mission, and in a way he had.

Just as Kakashi had stopped infront of him the mission doors violently flew open, Shizuni entering feriously.

Like zipping up a jacket the sensei came back to full alurt.

"You can't be serious!" she fumed. "Iruka your great with kids, why would you choose someone like him?"

Iruka scoffed, flabergast at the irony that she was sugesting he could choose a souter with the way she doggidly persued him.

Kakashi shrugged. "We were thinking of adopting." keeping relaxed the jounin casually wrapped his arm around the skiddish shinobi. almost purring as he began gently nuzzeling the neck of the confused sensei. who stood paralized, mind switched off under the straine of his current perdicament.

Iruka didn't know why he allowed it. He could blame it on shizuni presence but even in his warn state he could feel his sences slowly melting, giving way to the soft strokes of the elite.

He shivered

"Shizuni." Iruka was supprised at how huski the jounins voice was. "I think you should leave now."

Shizuni huffed slamming the doors as she left. As her footfalls drifted down the hallway as Iruka slowly became aware of how close he still was to Kakashi.

"Um Kakashi could you..." he trailed off, his request was unmistakable but this time the jounin easily released the teacher.

Taking a few steps back the jounin began to asses him.

"Are you alright?" he asked after a bit.

Offering a small guilty smile Iruka nerviously averted his eyes and scrached at his scar. "Yes, Kakashi-san and thank you for helping me out, It was very..." He blushed hotly under the memory.

"They hounded you pritty good." Kakashi obsurved.

"Yes." He sighed deeply embarised by the entire experience. "I am sorry for dragging you into all this." He offered polightly looking up at Kakashis cheery eyed smile.

"Mah Sensi, Think nothing of it. But you do understand we will have to keep up apearences or you'll be right back where you started."

Iruka blanched. He had been so desprate to evade capture he hadent thought of the ramifications for Kakashi.

"I am deeply sorry Kakashi-san." He bowed deeply but sprang up at hearing Kakashis laugh brightly.

What an inticing sound.

"Sensei, two things, first, I think you can call me Kakashi now, you know since we're dating."

Iruka couldn't help but blush at the privilage. And did Kakashi just wink at him? Its hard to tell when there is only one eye involved.

"Second, I had planned to help you all along. If Anko or Shizuni had caught you I would have stepped in reguardless."

Iruka, startled by the admonition gaped openly. "Then why did you just let them chase me?"

"Well sensei I was hoping you'd come to me." Slowly the glint returned to the jounins eye. "And you did." he pointed out manovering closer to the teacher.

As the implication of what was going on dawned on him, Iruka, too his own supprise felt himself heat plesently at the glance. "You wanted?" He found his own voice trailing off as he heard the answering "mun mun" of the elite. Once again Iruka felt the jounin manover around his defences and the copy-nin slipped up against him. Warm arms came up to support him not posses him and a hot masked mouth ghoasted across his ear.

"Your still very tence sensei." He whispered.

Iruka hadn't noticed his eyes fall closed as a tendril of thrill swept through him at the presence of the jounins voice.

"Relax." It coaxed. The sharp tension beginning to slowly fall away like a memory of a dream. His body began to slump into coressing arms and gently allowied himself to lean heavily against the other shinobi. the strain gradually draining from him leaving him week, vulnerable and yet satisfied.

"Kakashi." He mumbled tiredly.

"Hum?"

"I think you can call me Iruka now, you know since were dating and all."

The jounin chuckled deeply, and the sound relaxed the wery chunin further. Strainge how boneless he could go from a simple sugestion.

"They really ran you ragged." the jounin observed once the senseis breathing had evened out. Evidence he had gone to sleep. "When you wake up I'll take you to a nice restaurant. Would you like that?" He asked stroking the dark hair not expecting a reply. "You can't live off ichi rocko alone, no mater what Naruto tells you."

Tucking the sleeping body beside him the jounin sat them both down comfortably in a corner of the mission office. Iruka wasn't allowed to clock out for a few hours yet, but it was a slow day and Kakahsi had no place he'd rather be.

"um Iruka... I'm still not done with my report, that ok with you?" when he didn't get an answer, he figured it ment yes.


End file.
